Day 24 - and waxing philosophic on uncertainties

- Today the market went into freefall, falling 7%, with no end in sight. "The Crash of 2008" if only there was a belief it won't happen again and again. I have watched my own retirement and savings shrink over the last day, week, month, year .... Thankfully, though I've lost a lot of money, I am not at risk at being unable to afford this $12,000 procedure (or a second round if this round doesn't result in enough eggs for me to feel sufficiently insured ... which it probably won't. Based on stats, I think I'll want 25 in the bank before I stop).

- Today was the Jewish day of Atonement - Yom Kippur - The day when, traditionally, the fate of each individual for the next year is said to be sealed. "How many will pass from the earth and how many will be created; who will live and who will die ... Who will rest and who will wander, who will live in harmony and who will be harried, who will enjoy tranquillity and who will suffer, who will be impoverished and who will be enriched ..." I don't actually believe any of this, but, whatever, with effort I could find some way to make this relevant here - to include it in my blog about trying to control my own fate - the creation of life and tranquility and so forth ....

-Today my brother, my mother's youngest child, turned 30.

- Today I gave myself my fourth injection in my 3-4 week process of attempting to extend my fertile years beyond what nature would otherwise allow me ... to build a little fertility insurance for myself.

Who knows what the future holds, but today I hit day 4 of injections (though really, I started this process months ago - with appointments and blood tests) in my attempt to build a little insurance for something I want. The markets may have screwed me and the world in ways that defy anyone's ability to predict anything. The god of my ancestors may have set my destiny, my mother had her 30 year anniversary of her last proof of her own fertility, but, well, today, day 4 of shots for me in my attempt to try control things for myself. Though I don't for a second think that any of this is really a sure thing.

Still no side effects. The above philosophical nonsense is just me being me :) I will try to keep this blog more informative and less blah blah-ing. Maybe.